Shower Songs and Deadly Claws
by Gemini5
Summary: Rogue and Jubilee pull a little prank on Wolvie and he is LESS than pleased


Disclaimer: So, you've heard that these people called Marvel and Fox own these characters? Well you've heard wrong. That's right people I own them, they're all mine. Really. REALLY...damn.  
  
Rating: PG-13 or somewhere thereabouts   
  
Summary: Movieverse, Rogue and Jubilee play a little prank on Wolvie and he is less than pleased :)  
  
Feedback: Gee...let me think abou that one....YES :) send it to Xfilekate1@aol.com and I'll love you forever! And as an added bonus I'll set you up with a nice house when I take over the world :)  
  
Author's Notes: Ok, this is only my third fic but I hope you enjoy. I usually write agonizingly slow but this was born in about two hours. I heard this Celine Dion song and I thought wouldn't it be funny if...and this was spawned. I take no responsibility whatsoever, it's those naked plot bunnies that keep dancing in front of my eyes, blame them. :) Warning this is a L/R movieverse fic, I love these two! And if you don't then you can kiss my @$$. That's right folks, both lips, both cheeks J/K :)   
  
SHOWER SONGS AND DEADLY CLAWS  
By Gemini  
  
  
The world had officially ended. We're talking sky falling, hell freezing, Teletubby cursing kind of endage. It had to be the end of the world, there was no other way to explain the noise coming from Wolverine's shower.  
  
A few minutes ago Rogue would have sworn that it was just a normal day in the X Mansion...well as normal as a day can be when you're living with a bunch of teenage mutants (none of the ninja turtle variety though). Not to mention the teachers whose weekend jobs consisted of saving the world. All while wearing spiffy black leather. (Sometimes Rogue had to remind herself that at least it was better than brightly colored spandex.) So taking all these factors into consideration it was just a normal day. There had been no fires, no icings, no explosions, and no supervillian attacks. Of course it was only eight o'clock so there was still plenty of time for all that.   
  
Rogue knew that Wolverine had an early morning session in the danger room. She thought that maybe he'd like to go jogging with her afterwards. Well, really she just wanted him to see her prance around in a skin tight leotard to see if she could get a reaction from him. Hey, she took her kicks where she could get 'em. You'd be surprised how that no touch thing could cut into your social life. Rogue was content to throw herself at Logan, and sooner or later she would win him over...even if he didn't know it yet. He may still think of her as a "kid" but she was hoping that after he saw her in this leotard he would change his mind.   
  
That was her mission, and that is what prompted Rogue to go to Logan's room. She could have knocked, but there was always a chance that he was naked in there so Rogue walked right in. Wolverine wasn't in sight but the shower was running. With more than a little disappointment Rogue turned to leave, but that was when she heard it. That was the moment she realized the world was ending.   
  
There was singing coming from Wolverine's shower.  
  
It was a Celine Dion song.  
  
It was Wolverine singing a Celine Dion song.   
  
Jesus H. tap dancing Christ on crutches! Logan, BAD ASS WOLVERINE, was SINGING, a CELINE DION song. And if that wasn't shocking enough, the man could actually sing. He sounded like he belonged up on a Broadway stage.  
  
It was too much for Rogue's poor mind to process. She stood there for an indefinite amount of time staring dumbly at the bathroom door. No one would ever believe her. Then an evil idea popped into her head. Nooooo, she couldn't, Logan would kill her...then again some things are worth dying for.   
  
Rogue ran to her room like Sabertooth was on her ass. She burst in and found just the person she needed to see. "Jubes! Quick, I need your tape recorder!"  
  
Jubilee was just getting up and replied with a groggy "Wha?"  
  
"Listen to me very carefully. Wolverine is singing in the shower. I don't know how much longer he'll be in there I need your tape recorder now!"  
  
Comprehension dawned on Jubilee's face. "Oh my God!" She got up quickly and rummaged through the desk. After what seemed like an eternity, she held up the tape recorder victoriously. "Let's go!" They ran as fast as they possibly could to Logan's room. Scott saw them in the hall and tried to tell them to slow down, but they were gone before he finished the sentence. He continued on his way mumbling about the lack of respect.  
  
The two girls finally made it to Wolverine's room. He was still in the shower, so the fact that their lungs burned was but a small price to pay. Wolverine had changed songs, he was singing It's All Coming Back To Me Now. "Holy mother of God, you weren't kidding!" Jubilee exclaimed.   
  
"Shhhh, He'll hear us!" Now that Rogue had chosen her course of action, she didn't want anything to ruin it. The girls crept up to the bathroom door and held the tape recorder against it and pushed the button. Suddenly the water stopped running. They shot each other horrified looks, but to their amazement the door was not thrown open and the singing continued. Without the water in the background it came through much clearer. It went on like that for a few minutes, and then handle started to turn. The girls jumped back in alarm. Wolverine stalked out in all his next to naked glory, only a towel wrapped around his waist. Jubilee had enough sense to hide the tape recorder behind her back. Rogue's mind wasn't functioning quite as well. She stood, mouth agape, staring at Logan's glistening chest.   
  
Wolverine obviously hadn't expected them there. Too caught up in the song to pay attention to foreign smells perhaps. Anyway, his eyes got wide, then narrowed suspiciously. "What are you two doing here?" he demanded.   
  
Rogue finally found her voice though her eyes never left Logan's chest. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go jogging with me."  
  
"And what about her?" Wolverine asked motioning to Jubilee.  
  
"Oh, I, uh well, I was in the hallway and I saw Rogue and I decided to come with her." Jubes was many things, but a morning person was not one of them. That was the best she could come up with.  
  
"To my room?"  
  
"Uh yeah, you know it's a pretty far walk from our room to yours. I thought she could use the company. I guess I better be going now, since we've reached our destination. Later!" And so Jubilee made her quick exit, leaving Rogue alone with her near naked sex god...errr Logan.  
  
Logan looked uncomfortable under her intense stare. "Well, Kid, I just took a shower, how about we go for a run tomorrow?"  
  
Run, what was he talking about? Ah yes, run, it took a while for her to understand what he was saying. After all, not only had she heard Logan singing, but now he stood before her clad only in a towel. There was only so much a girl could handle. "Sure, yeah, okay, great" she said still standing there.   
  
"Hey, Marie, mind leaving so I can change?" Damn, damn, damn she mentally swore. She was secretly hoping that he would just change right there in front of her. If she actually went through with her plan she knew it was the only way she'd ever see him naked. Oh well, yet another dream that will go unfulfilled. She gave him a once over then bounded out of the room. Since she couldn't see him naked, it was time to get down to business.  
  
She made her way back to her room, at a normal pace this time. Jubilee was waiting for her and jumped up the moment she walked through the door. "So?" she asked eagerly.  
  
"So what?" Rogue replied with a smile.   
  
"So what happened when I left?"   
  
"He told me that he'd go jogging with me tomorrow, then told me to get out so he could change." Rogue added a little pout to the last sentence. Jubes knew all about her Logan fetish, she may not totally understand it, but she knew about it.   
  
"Bummer. So, what are we gonna do with this tape?" A devious smile was plastered on both of the girl's faces. Their teenage gigglyness bubbled to the surface as Rogue divulged the details of her evil plan to Jubilee. Somehow they would have to get the Professor out of his office. There was a school wide intercom system in there where everyone on the grounds would be able to hear the tape. Normally Jubilee would have provided the distraction, after all, she was the X Men's little fire cracker. There wasn't a day that went by where she wasn't in trouble for something. Unfortunately she was also the one with the technical know-how. She said that after breaking so many electrical things when her powers manifested she had to learn a little something about them. That left the distraction up to Rogue. How she was going to do this she had no idea.  
  
"Aw, Jubes, I can't do this. I can't think of a single thing!" Then Jubilee got that evil little glint in her eyes and Rogue began to question why she ever thought this was a good idea. Not only was Logan going to kill her, but she got the impression that being on the receiving end of that look was not a good thing.  
  
Rogue had never exposed this much skin in her entire life. Not even when she could touch people. Her parents had always been on the conservative side. No bikinis for little Marie, no sireee. And now she wasn't even sure if the scrap of material she was wearing could even be considered a bikini. Marie thought she looked ridiculous, but Jubes assured her that she looked totally hot. Nevertheless, Rogue paused and said a silent prayer before entering the rec room. This had better work or there would be one less little fire cracker running around the mansion.  
  
Rogue walked in and for a moment no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. Then of course they did a double take and realized that a mutant with deadly skin was wearing a bikini. A small bikini. Did that thing even deserve to be called a bikini? The boys didn't seem to be complaining all too much, but Jean looked like here eyes might fall out of her head. Rogue steeled herself for her performance. If only her momma could see her now. She walked, hips swaying dramatically, to the couch. She sat down...then crossed her legs. Tongues were wagging, eyes were bulging and some other things were bulging too, but Rogue tried as best she could to ignore that. Jean stalked over full of determination. Rogue wasn't worried about her finding out the real reason behind her clothing, or rather, lack thereof. All of the personalities in her head made it hard to read her mind, plus Jean was an ethical telepath, or so she said.   
  
"Rogue, don't you think that outfit's a little inappropriate?"  
  
Rogue tried to make her eyes as innocent as possible. "Why?" she asked, giving her best doe look.  
  
It wasn't fooling Jean one bit. "You know very well why. People are staring."  
  
"It's not my fault their mommas never taught them it ain't polite to stare," Rogue returned flippantly. "Besides, it's hot outside." She pouted the last line.  
  
"Rogue, I'm sorry, but it's dangerous for you to be exposing that much skin. Anyone could accidentally brush up against you and we'd have a crisis on our hands. I know it must be difficult for you, not being able to be like other girls your age, but I'm afraid I have to insist that you go change." Jean was trying very hard not to let any anger seep into her voice. Rogue wasn't usually like this, she didn't know what had gotten into her.  
  
"Jean, you have no idea what it's like to be me. We live in a free country and I should be able to wear whatever I choose! It's not fair that you're making me change. I wanna talk to the Professor." She folded her arms across her chest stubbornly. Inwardly she prayed that they wouldn't make her go to his office, and that he would come to her.  
  
Jean sighed. "Fine Rogue, if that's how you want to go about this, but you're acting very childish and someone could get hurt." She telepathically contacted Xavior and informed him of the situation with Rogue. He said he was on his way.   
  
Rogue waited a moment and then heard the sound of Xavior's wheelchair coming down the hall. She was so relieved. Now everything was up to Jubilee, and she had no doubt that she could handle it. Rogue looked down, she couldn't wait to get some clothes on. "You know what, Jean? You're right. I really shouldn't be exposing this much skin. It's dangerous and irresponsible of me. I don't know what has gotten into me. Bye." With that she got up and ran from the room, passing Xavior on his way into the room. "Hi Professor, bye Professor!" She made a mad dash for her room hoping to encounter as few people as possible. Doubtless her little rec room exposure would haunt her for weeks. She could only hope the thing with Logan would overshadow that and she would be forgotten.   
  
Right after she finished changing Jubilee ran breathlessly into the room. "All right, it's done! I set it on a timer, it should go off in about three minutes. What should we do til then?"  
  
"Put on some running shoes and be near an exit. Hopefully that will buy us a little time before our no doubt excruciating deaths." Rogue smiled. "Come on though, if we're gonna die, then we're gonna die happy." They headed down to the rec room once again. It was where most of the students would be, and the best place to see everyone's reaction. This time Rogue's entrance garnered less attention, though it did attract some disappointed looks from the boys. Jubilee didn't miss it either.  
  
"I take it my plan worked perfectly eh? I bet poor Bobby nearly had a heart attack." Rogue let her malicious glare speak for itself.   
  
Suddenly the loud speakers everywhere came alive. At first it was hard to tell because there was shower noise. Everyone looked up in confusion. Then the water stopped and what was on the tape could be heard clearly. There was a moment of complete and utter silence as Wolverine's rendition of It's All Coming Back To Me Now blasted throughout the school. It was like that moment in The Shawshank Redemption...well like that except way more funny. I mean it was Wolverine singing Celine Dion for Christ's sake! It doesn't get any better than that. Finally the tape stopped, and that's when the laughter began. Rogue and Jubilee started to laugh too, at least until they heard Wolverine's piercing howl. "MAAAARRRRIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!"   
  
Rogue and Jubes shot each other a desperate look and made a break for the door. They knew they didn't have much longer to live, but they were going to try their damnedest to prolong it as much as possible. Judging from the direction of the howl Logan was on the second story. That gave them some time, not much, but some. They ran crazily through the mansion, going for the back door. Students tried to stop and congratulate them on their prank, but they rushed by without so much as a glance in their direction. They finally made it to the back door, perhaps if they could make it to one of the cars then they could...  
  
SNIKT   
  
"Oh shit!" They stopped dead in their tracks and turned slowly around. Wolverine stood their, claws out, eyes glaring, and lips curled back in a snarl. Rogue felt the insane urge to remind him that he had saved her life before and if he were to kill her it would really have been a waste of healing factor. Somehow she got the impression that this wasn't the time for talking and kept her mouth shut.   
  
"You," he said pointing to Jubilee. "I don't know what you had to do with this whole mess, but I'm guessing that it wasn't your idea since you've never gone in my room before. But, if you ever set foot near my room again I will kill you. I will cut you up in tiny little pieces so that on one can identify the body. Xavior be damned, it'd be worth it the pleasure. Now get your ass out of here and don't let me see you for at least a week or I promise I won't be so nice." Oh God, that was Wolverine being nice. Jubilee, as fearless as she usually was, did place some value on her life. She shot Rogue a sympathetic look before running off.   
  
Rogue looked around nervously. Damn, no one in sight. She tried to act casual. "So, Logan, funny little joke huh?" She tried a pathetic little smile. She was a cornered animal with no way out and the big bad wolf was staring at her with hungry eyes. Her attempt at to talk got no reaction so she tried again. "You uh, You're not mad at me, are you Logan?"  
  
Wolverine slid the claws back in and smiled. Rogue was shocked beyond words. Logan walked up and put his arm around her. "No Rogue, I'm not mad at you." Uh oh, he called her Rogue, he always called her Marie. Somehow this nice Logan made her even more uneasy than the homicidal maniac Logan.   
  
"Well then, I'll just be going." She slid herself from under his arm but he grabbed her wrist before she could get away. Damn, she knew it was too good to be true.  
  
He pulled her back hard and suddenly the metal claws were out again and pressed to her throat. She knew he wouldn't really kill her. At least that's what she kept repeating inside her head. Did she say she liked the homicidal maniac Logan better than the nice Logan? Nuh uh, she changed her mind. Finally the claws slid back in and Rogue released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She turned to look at Logan. It seemed that he had cooled down a bit now. Maybe she could actually talk her way out of this. "Logan, look I'm really sorry. Really REALLY sorry. I didn't know how much it would upset you." She turned the doe eyes on him full blast.   
  
Logan groaned inwardly, he could never resist the doe eyes. He tried to think of his manly pride...what little there was left of it. He had to resist, had to...oh God, her lower lip began to tremble. He let out a huge sigh. "You know I've killed people for much less, than that." Her face brightened immediately and Logan felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. He had to resist, had to fight, had to, ah what the hell, he already lost all his dignity, may as well go all the way.   
  
Rogue couldn't believe her luck, the doe eyes and trembling lip had worked, thank God she was female! And he even smiled at her! Then she began to feel a little guilty about what she did. An idea struck her and she thought that maybe it would work. "Don't worry Logan," she said. "Me and Jubes will tell everyone that we rigged the tape and that it wasn't you singing just someone that sounded like you we found on the internet. I think everyone will believe it." She smiled at him, hoping this peace offering would clear all the residual traces of anger away.   
  
"All right, Kid," he relented and fingered her white streak affectionately. She gave him a huge smile, and left to go start damage control. Before she was out of sight she glanced back behind her once.   
  
"Oh and by the way, Celine has got nothing on you." She giggled and scampered off before he could reply. Wolverine sighed again. He wondered why he didn't kill her when he had the chance, somehow he knew that girl would be the death of him.   



End file.
